Retreat

The Genie

Cyberian — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 17:13:16 +0000

A female peace activist was exploring some caves by the beach when she stumbled upon a very old antique looking lamp bottle. The woman picked up the bottle and proceeded to rub some of the sand off of it. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a genie appeared from the bottle!

The genie just stared at the woman, and vice versa, until the shocked woman excitedly spoke:

“Are you a genie?” she asked.

“Yes.” came the response.

“Does this mean I get three wishes?”

“Three wishes is only a fable,” said the genie in return. “You only get one wish.”

“Only one?”

“Yes. So what do you wish for?”

There was no hesitation from the woman who had dedicated her life to the quest for peace.

“I want peace in the Middle East,” she said. ” I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and vice-versa. I want it to be the start of world peace and harmony.”

The genie thought for a moment…

“Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’m out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years. I’m good but not that good! I’m sorry, but I’m afraid it can’t be done. Please make another wish and please be reasonable.”

The woman thought for a minute.

“Well, I’ve never been able to find the right man for my life,” she said. “You know, a man that’s considerate and fun, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, loves kids and is great in bed, gets along with my family, doesn’t watch sports all the time, cares about the environment, and is faithful. That is what I wish for, Genie… a good man.”

The genie thought for a moment, let out a deep sigh and said, “Let me see about that peace in the Middle East.”

Senti Sms

Cyberian — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 04:44:55 +0000

Express yourself to someone who cares for your.

Not to some one who needs you….

Because care means personal commitment but need means personal requirement…gud even….

Philo Sms

Cyberian — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 04:41:52 +0000

You need Power,

only when you want to do something harmful….

Otherwise

Love is enough to get everything done…..!

******************************************

Be So Rich that you can buy D most expensive thing u desire…..

But, be so expensive that no richness on the Earth can buy u…

)

********************************************

Do what makes you happy be with who makes you smile laugh as much as you breathe and

love as long as you live….

Gdnite..

40 Ways to Increase Your Luck

Cyberian — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 04:01:34 +0000

Here is a list of ways to increase your luck, which I believe should be 40 ways to becoming successful.

Recommended by a friend of mine:

http://www.helpyourselfgetlucky.com/increase-luck/39-ways-increase-luck/

2019 Cricket World Cup News Headlines

Cyberian — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 04:18:11 +0000

Coach Sehwag to be sacked after India’s defeat over Mongolia.

Tendulkar should consider quitting: Rahul Dravid

Pathan touches 60 mph!!!

India out of Super 30 contention.

VVS Laxman : I still hope for a spot in the team in 2023.

NORTH KOREA don’t want to take minnows Pakistan lightly.

Former Pakistan captain Inzamam: Boys is not plays with heart.

Flintoff publishes 7th autobiography: How I got drunk, shot and woke up in the Pacific!

Greg Chappell talks of cracks in the Solomon Islands team: Seniors are behaving like Mafia.

Security increased outside Sehwag’s mithai shop after India’s defeat.

Song in the heart of CWG Players

Cyberian — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 05:37:22 +0000

Here’s a few film songs KJS Ahluwalia of Amritsar sent to Khushwant Singh, which go very well as background with the movie to be called Games Tamasha:

Suresh Kalmadi — Kutchh to log kaheingae;

Shiela Dixit — Kahin daag na lag jayey;

M.S. Gill — Kabhi khud pe kabhi haalaat pey rona aayaa;

S. Jaipal Reddy — Yeh kya hua, kaisey hua, kyon hua;

Tejinder Khanna — Merey tutey huay dil say, koi toh aaj yeh puchhey;

Mani Shankar Aiyar — Chal akela, chal akela, chal akela, tera mela peechey choota;

Delhites — Jab dil hi toot gaya, hum jee key kya kareingey;

Manmohan Singh — Sub kutch seekha hum ney, naa seekhi hoshiari, sach hai duniyan walo, ke hum hain anari.

Chinese Flight

Cyberian — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 04:19:23 +0000

Pre-take off announcement on a China Southern Airlines Flight. This is true account of what was heard on a recent flight from Shenzhen to Qingtao.

Chinese Air Stewardess :

“Good afternoon, Ladies and the German. This is your cheap purser Wang Lui speaking. On behalf of China Sudden Airlines, I would like to waycome you on board our Bowling 737 fom Shenzhen to Qingtao. Members of my kew speak Chinese and other languages that you do not know. It is a great pressure serving you to-die. Should you need any resistance during the fright, peace do pest the call button. I and my gals are available to make you feel comfortable. Meanwhile, the airkwaft is going to fry. Peace sit upright and keep you belt tightly fastened until dinner is served at five dirty p.m.. Hope you would enjoy your fright with us. Funk kill.” (thank you)

Troubled Husband

Cyberian — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 07:25:29 +0000

Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.

Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are listed below.

Mr. Wally President and CEO Wal-Mart Complaint Department

———————————-

MEMO Mr. Bill Fenton Complaints – 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse/partner is shopping:

********* 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

********* 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Homewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

********* 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

********* 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, ‘Code 3′ in homewares….. and watched what happened.

********* 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

********* 6. September 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

********* 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they’ll bring pillows fromthe bedding department.

********* 8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’

********* 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

********* 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

********* 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.

********* 12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his “Madonna look” using different size funnels.

********* 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled “PICK ME!” “PICK ME!”

********* 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!!”

********* (And; last, but not least!)

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!”

Travails of Chain Mail’s Victim…

Cyberian — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 04:21:50 +0000

I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008, 2009 and continuing it in 2010 also……. Because of your kindness:

* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it’s good for removing toilet stains.

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

* Forwarded hundreds of mails but still waiting for FREE DESKTOP, LAPTOP, CAMERA, CELLPHONE etc….

* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer…

* I don’t leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill with calls to Uganda, Pakistan, Singapore and Tokyo.

* I also stopped drinking anything out of a Can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.

* When I go to parties, I don’t look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times.. (Poor girl! she’s been 7 since 1993…)

* Still open to help somebody from Nigeria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle’s property of $ 100 million. So much trustworthy.

* I have forwarded 35 emails to 400 people hoping that Ericsson or Nokia will send me latest mobile phones but those models are also obsolete now.

* Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Ganesh, Tirupathi Balaji pics etc. Now most of those “Wishes” are already married (to someone else)

NOW IMPORTANT NOTE: If you do not send this e-mail to at least 11,246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will Pee on your head today at 6:30pm.

Nothing has happened till now………………… but who knows. So please forward.

Why Indians are re born

Cyberian — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 05:32:21 +0000

The angel Gabriel came to the Lord and said “I have to talk to you. We have some Indians up here in heaven and they are causing problems. They’re swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, they are wearing Dolce and Gabbana saris instead of their white robes, they are riding Mercedes and BMW’s instead of the chariots, and they’re selling their halos to people for discounted prices. They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clear, since they keep crouching down midway eating samosas and drinking chai (tea). Some of them are even walking around with just one wing!”

The Lord said, “Indians are Indians. Heaven is home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, give Satan a call.”

Satan answered the phone, “Hello? Damn, hold on a minute.” Satan returned to the phone, “OK I’m back. What can I do for you?”

Gabriel replied, “I just wanted to know what kind of problems you’re having down there.”

Satan says, “Hold on again. I need to check on something.”

After about 5 minutes Satan returns to the phone and said, “I’m back. Now what was the question?”

Gabriel said, “What kind of problems are you having down there?”

Satan says, “Man I don’t believe this .. Hold on.”

This time Satan was gone at least 15 minutes. He returned and said, “I’m sorry Gabriel, I can’t talk right now.. These Indians are trying to install air conditioning and making hell a comfortable place to live in by putting out the fire..fire is there to keep them uncomfortably hot!! Since they are so tech savvy, they were trying to start a telephone connection between heaven and hell..I am having such a hard time controlling and dealing with them!! Some were trying to start a chai – pakora shop, which I had to stop..I am requesting Lord to send them back on earth as soon as they arrive as re-birth”.
(Indians will be Indians..)
So this is the story why Indians are re-born!!!